Vietnam

Saw this when we were being driven back from the moon bear centre in Vietnam. Thought it was dead initially.....

.......turned out to be very much alive and squirming about.

From Nha Trang we took a bus North to Hoi An. It was a really pretty little town. Spared the American bombardment, it has really narrow streets and French colonial buildings.

Was great to be in a smaller town, without the motorbikes. We stayed in an overpriced place on the outskirts of town with a pool, that was useless as it never got above 15 degrees the whole time we were there. There was also a man who liked banging a hammer from 7 am onward, living right next to the hotel. One of the main draws to Hoi An are all the tailors. There are about a million of them. I decided to get a shirt made, and ended up getting 2. You could easily become addicted to getting clothes custom made. Especially at the prices they were charging. Jenny got a couple of pairs of trousers made. One pair that are 'fishermans' trousers, or 'hippy clown's' trousers as I would describe them. When Jenny was describing what she wanted the woman in the shop started dancing about, laughing and singing 'Ali Baba, Ali Baba' over again. I think that says it all. But she likes them, so fair play.

The other main tourist draw in Hoi An is the Japanese covered bridge, which is quite unusual, but essentially just a bridge with a roof.

There are also several pagodas at every turn which we went to.

From Hoi An we got another 'sleeper' bus the 17 hours to Hanoi. This was a bit of a sleepless nightmare. The 'beds' on this bus were even smaller than the last one, and I had to wedge my feet into a kind of tin box at the bottom. Was so cramped it felt like being in a coffin. To make matters worse, as we were driving along, one of the windows shattered. Presumably because somebody chucked a rock at it, because whatever the missile was hit the very top window right in front of me. Almost wet myself. We continued a very cold and windy hour or so before pulling over to fix it. This of course took forvever as a crowd gathered to hum and haw and shout instructions at each other. So they sellotaped a massive bit of card on and off we went. Miraculously it stayed in place all the way to Hanoi.

We both really liked Hanoi. It similar to Saigon in that it's so busy and there is so much going on around you, but it's prettier, with a few lakes dotted around, and a lot more trees.

It's also got remnants of the French era, and it's a maze of narrow streets. On our first day we just wandered around looking at stuff. We went to a little pagoda on an island on the lake which was pretty. The highlight was a stuffed turtle/tortoise thing in a glass case.

It's the strangest looking creature ever. Think it might have been a botched job on the taxidermists part, as it's so fat and it's bogeyed and got a weird twisted smile on its face. We were staying in the old Quarter of the town, right in the thick of the action which was good. We were also right round the corner from a little street bar that sold bia hoi, the local brew, for 9p a half pint which was extremely good.

On our second day we took a trip to Halong Bay, about 4 hours south of Hanoi. We went for a 2 day overnight cruise, which turned out to be really amazing.

The boat was a fair size and the cabins were simple, but pretty luxurious by our standards, especially the bathroom. Amazingly they managed to provide a hot, powerful shower, and toilet that didn't block every time you used it - something that many of the places on dry land throughout Asia, seem incapable of.

Unfortunately the toilet did have a tendancey to burp a lot, producing a revolting smell which was the one downer. The only other complaint was about the weather, which was shit.

The sun was out for the first hour or so aboard, so me and Jenny ran and stripped off and lay on the top deck, whilst everyone else sat about in their jumpers and trousers looking at us like we were mental. We cruised out of the bay and around the amazing karst limestone mini islands that dot the bay.

Really really spectacular. We visited two caves on our way. The first one was the magic cave, although I' not exactly why it's called that. It was quite small but we clambered through it and out the other side, scrambling up the mountain a bit.

The view was pretty incredible. We then went to see the suprising cave. Surprising because it's absolutley massive.

We walked about 500m into the massive gaping hole in the side of the cliff. There were loads of stalagmites/tites and weird formations that resembled various things. The best one was at the mouth of the cave. It looks like a guy's legs hanging over the edge.

Jenny got her wildlife fix in the cave in the shape of a penguin shaped bin. Not sure if it is indigenous or migratory?

The food was great throughout the trip. We spent all of our meals sharing with a couple of Spanish girls, who were pretty good value, although one of them was quite a big girl and certainly made sure she got her full helping, leaving us to fight for what was left, and the other didn't speak much English and was pretty mute. The guide was really informative and made quite a big effort which always helps as well.

On our second morning we got up at 7am to go kayaking. The Spanish girls weren't up for this particularly. I think the bigger girl would rather have extended breakfast into a brunch, but credit to her she did reluctantly go. It was really hard work,as we had to paddle over quite strong currents before getting to a couple of low caves that we could paddle under. The scenery was really spectacular, and it was really peaceful as well. By the time we were told to head back we were all pretty tired. Jenny and I got a bit competitive with the others and decided that we had to beat them back to the boat, (a la the amazing race) which we of course did, although the next couple of days we paid for it, walking about like penguins with our arms glued to our sides because of the stiffness. All in all the trip was really worth it, and Halong bay has to be up there with the most naturally beautiful places in the world, befitting it's nomination to be one of the 7 natural wonders.

When we returned to Hanoi we had another day sightseeing in the capital. We went to do the history bit, which Jenny was delighted about. We went to see Uncle Ho - Ho Chi Minh - in his mausoleum in the North of the city. This was quite a creepy experience.

His body is seeled in a glass case in a really dark room, like Lenin in Russia. He's very well preserved, and looks like he died just yesterday, or he's asleep. I kept thinking that his eyes were going to open. We had to go and see him twice it turned out, as we duffed up the conveyor belt queueing system that is opertated by the army there. They're so fickle about where you can and cannot walk. You have to walk on the pavement and along white lines, and if they catch you straying they point and shout at you. We got pointed at and shouted at quite a bit. I wanted to run all over the grass by the end of it. We then went to the Ho Chi Minh museum, or I went. Jenny sat and clapped a few flea bitten kittens outside while I went round the museam, which was probably for the best as it turned out to be just a series of photos of uncle ho meeting various dignitaries and a bizarre art exhibit. Was interesting though to learn about the man who effectively masterminded the defence of the nation against the most sophisticated army in the world, and went on to unify Vietnam. Pretty amazing character, and so the Vietnamese are rightly proud of him. There were as many Vietnamese as tourists going to view him which tells a story.

On our last day we did something that Jenny wanted to do, and took a trip to Jill Robinson's Moon Bear Sanctuary, a couple of hours North of the city. She is in the process of building the centre which will house rescued Moon bears. To be honest I wasn't looking forward to this, and had spent the preceeding days teasing Jenny that I'd ask Jill whether she was intending on releasing the bears back on the moon etc. It turned out to be quite interesting, and a lot better than Hanoi zoo, which was pretty grim.

Jill was real friendly and told us all about the project. The best part was the bears themselves. She's got 6 at the moment, and anopther 80 coming soon. They're really funny animals, especially the cubs. We sat and watched them watching us with they're beady little eyes, and showing off, and running at each other standing on two legs with their front paws in the air like little hairy men. Turned out to be a worthwhile visit that we both enjoyed.

From Hanoi we cheated a little and caught a flight to Laos. This was a necessity, given the bus option was allegedly going to take 24 hours, and has a very bad press suggesting that that can often stretch to 36 hours. So we opted for the 50 minute flight to Vientiane. We by-passed Vietiane, as it didn't seem to have a lot, if anything, to offer. So we caught a 4 hour bus North to Vang Vieng where we are now. I'm a lot happier, as it has been beautiful blue sky and glorious sunshine since we arrived. Also Beer Lao, the national tipple is going down a treat. We intend to stay here a few days relaxing in the sun (hopefuly). We're going to go tubing down the Nam Sang river tomorrow - which involves floating down the river on a tractor tyre inner tube stopping intermitently at the bars that litter the banks. Sounds great.

Still not cut my hair since May.

From Saigon we caught a “sleeper” bus North to Mui Ne, on xmas eve. The bus was quite a strange affair, as it had bunk bed type seats.

Unfortunately they had been built to accommodate Vietnamese as opposed to westerners. Very uncomfortable. Not a lot of sleeping going on.

Mui Ne was a pretty palm lined bay, although there wasn’t much of a beach to speak of.

We didn’t care though, as we’d booked a fancyish hotel to stay at, with a pool. Was really good to be able to just relax by the pool for a couple of days. Part of the the deal with staying at the hotel was that we had to attend the compulsory Christmas Eve BBQ, bumping up the price a good bit. Was actually quite entertaining, and the food was pretty good too. The entertainment was quite strange. First they had a guy dressed up as santa come and dish out sweeties. He was a lot skinnier and shorter than I remember him and he had a very big pointy moustache.

He also ran between the tables with his hands aloft, kind of squealing, like he’d just scored a goal, which was quite unusual. It was all good fun. The best bit was the prize draw, where the host drew room numbers, got the winners up on stage, and forced them to sing Christmas carols, that the band didn’t know the tune to, and that the winners only knew the first line of. Then in an effort to save the day the host burst into a rendition of “We wish you a merry Christmas”. But once again the band played a version I’d never heard before, and the host only knew the ‘we wish you a merry xmas and a happy new year’ bit which he sang very loudly and proudly at the chorus, and mumbled very quietly over and over again fitting it to the verses. We were in hysterics.

Christmas day was spent lounging around the pool in the 30 degree heat which was excellent. Then we watched the fisherman out at sea, in their ridiculously dangerous little baskets, floating by at sunset.

We skipped the turkey and had a traditional Vietnamese hotpot that night which was very good.

After a few days in Mui Ne we headed further North to Nha Trang, another beach resort. Unfortunately the weather turned a bit crap since we got here and so I’ve spent most of our time here moaning and checking the internet for weather updates. Nha Trang’s quite a big city right on the beach. The town itself is pretty naff, with lots of tourist traps round every corner. The beach is massive, and looks pretty good. However, we’ve only been down there once, to look. It’s been grey and cold, and even rained a couple of times which has not been good. We did however venture out on a fishing trip which was fun. It was ridiculously cheap.

We chartered our own boat all day, with guide, crew of two, fishing equipment, and lunch, all for around $50.

We weren’t very successful on the fishing front. Jenny caught one fish that was about the size of a 50p. I was almost resigned to returning having caught nothing. Was so frustrated to the extent that I was considering throwing the rod in, as Jenny kept getting nibbles and was doing a bit of gloating, and I hadn’t had anything all day. Luckily, she wanted another 5 minutes before heading back, which was enough time for me to catch a less than impressive, but considerably bigger fish than her….. which I rubbed in for the rest of the day.

We spent New Year's eve in a cheesy bar that handed out stupid hats for everyone to wear. Was a good laugh though, and we met up with a couple of Scots, which meant that the drinking got suitably out of control.

The DJ got an earful from all of us for preferring Abba's Happy New Year after the bells, as opposed to Auld Lang Syne. We ended up at a party on the beach and feeling pretty unwell all the next day. Was good fun though.

Last night we ate off the street. It was basically a little family with big pots of fresh seafood set up on the pavement, with only the main road separating them from the sea where the fish had been caught. Can't get much fresher than that. We were seated on little childrens plastic chairs at a tiny table, having picked a selection of shellfish - 2 lobster, about 10 scallops, and a couple of snail-like things.

The snails turned out to be the best. It tasted amazing and was all cooked in front of us on a BBQ, and we got it all for under a tenner, which is incredible value.

Today we're killing time before catching another weird sleeper bus North to Hoi An. Hopefully by the time we get to Hanoi the sun will be behaving itself, or I'm going to start getting very upset......

Saigon is a bit mental. Really bustling big city. There are so many motorbikes here. Crossing the road is an absolute joke. There are few traffic lights, and even where there are ones, none of the bikes take any notice.

They clearly are taking notice of what's going on around though, and so it is possible to cross with caution going very slowly and letting them weave behind and in front of you. Very dangerous though. There are apparently 8 million people and 3 million motorbikes in the city. They're just everywhere, and the rules of the
road don't seem to apply. They drive the wrong way down main streets and even drive about the pavements which means really there is no escape. They passed a law, only 5 days ago, meaning that they all must wear helmets. So they're all wearing really new shiny colourful helmets which is quite funny.

We've done quite a bit of wandering round the city. It's a really busy place, and tere are lots of tourists. There seem to be predominantly US tourists which I suppose makes sense. The area of the city that we're staying in is a bit of a mecca for tourists, and consequently it's a bit crap, but the centre is quite nice, and the shopping is pretty good. Not that I'm particularly interested in that. We spent most of our first few days just trying to get across the roads. The food here has been really good.

They do a soup called Pho Bo, that is a clear broth with noodles, beef, beansprouts, chili, aniseedy leaves which seems to be the staple for the locals. It's magic. Been getting a bit sick of it recently though because we've eaten so much of it.

They also have the cheapest draft beer in the world here. We sat at a little street bar that was full of both tourists and locals all tucking into the stuf. IT came in a plastic jug, about a litre big, and cost 20p, which is pretty good. Supposedly it gets cheaper further north, so very much looking forward to that.

We went on a tour of the famous Viet Cong tunnels at CuChi the other day. The site is about 1 hour drive out of the city, to the North West. We booked up with one of the many tour agencies, and went on one of the 30 or so bus loads of people that go there every day. Apparently they get 1000 visitors a day, which is pretty crazy. Our tour guide was pretty crazy as well. He (allegedly) was part of the US lead South Vietnamese army that fought the Viet Cong around Cu Chi. He gave an amazingly detailed account of the history of the war, and indeed the preceeding wars that Vietnam have been involved in. He was a fountain of knowledge. Not only that he was a veteran of the American War who had fought for the US collecting injured soldiers and returning them to the base. At the end of the war, even though he had lived in New York for a time prior to the war, and was invited by his comrades to return, decided to stay in his homeland. He was captured by the Northern Communist forces and spent 4 years after the war in a reeducation camp. So he said anyway. Even if it wasn't true it was a really good story. He certainly knew his stuff.

I was a bit sceptical about the tour, but the fact that the tour guide was so good made it so much more interesting. The Viet Cong were clearly extremely ingenious and skilled in the art of war, which makes sense as they had spent the 20 years prior to the American invasion fighting off the French on their own soil. They accepted that they didn't have the immense fire power of either the French or the US, but used their knowledge of the countryside to defeat both. The Cu Chi tunnels are an intricate system of tiny tunnels - 1.3m high and 60cm wide - built on three levels, 3m, 6m and 8-10m, running for over 250km along the cu chi river and into the jungle. They had been building them for the 20 years preceeding the US occupation. In fact the US built a base right on top of the network. So at night the Viet cong would emerge and steal weapons, etc anything they could get their hands on. Even when the US eventually discovered the tunnels, they tried everything from Napalm, Tear gas, Grenades, Smoke Bombs, even sending men called 'tunnel rats' or sniffer dogs down into the tunnels. Despite the masive casualties they remained in the tunnels until the US withdrawal.

They had boobytraps all over the shop, and were clever enough to smoke american brand cigarettes and use US soap to confuse the dogs that were used to try and trace them. All amazing stuff. I was hanging on every word the guy was telling us. It was great. Even Jenny was pretty interested in the stuff we were shown. Not so much the hour lecture on the bus. She slept and listened to her ipod instead.

We were taken round various bunkers, and shown an abandonned m41 tank. The highlight of the tour was the tunnels themselves. We were able to crawl through 100m of the tunnels. There were escape routes every 30m which you could get out of if you were so inclined. Many were. It was absolutley stifling, and really really cramped. Quite difficult to move.

It was also pitch black at some points and we decended twice, to 8 or so metres. Was very claustrophobic. We both made it to the end with another few, dripping with sweat. Quite a lot of people bailed out early. It just reaffirmed how incredible the Viet Cong were, as I think the tunnel we crawled along had been heightened to allow us to get through, and it was absolutley tiny, even for Jenny who's a midget. Was a really great experience.

The next place of interest that we went to was the War remnants Museum. This is dedicated to the American war. I thought it was really interesting. Jenny didn't.

They had various tanks, and other equipment that the US abandonned when they withdrew from Vietnam. One of the bombs was ridiculously big, about 3 times the size of me. It was used to wipe out areas 100m in diametre. Absoultely ridiculous. The main body of the musem is a gallery of photography of various aspects of the war. Some really amazing pictures. There was a lot of emphasis on the terrible after effects of the chemical weapons used by the US - agent orange and napalm. There were a lot of gory pictures of children born with deformities as a result of the effects of these, and terrible skin burns suffered by those who were subjected to napalm. There were a few really horrendous shots of American GI's involved in the Mai Lai massacre, where the US 'search and destroyed' a village, executing 504 civilians in the process, many of them women, children and elderly. The place is a really good exhibition of all that was wrong with the Vietnam/American war, and war in general.

After exhausting all of Jenny's patience with musems and war, we booked ourselves onto a 2 day tour of the Mekong Delta. Probably the less said about this the better. It was absolutely crap. Both Jenny and I were as bored as each other with this. The Mekong River and the floating market thereon were quite interesting. Unfortunately we only spent about 2 hours doing this. The rest of the time was spent on the boiling hot bus, or on boats. Not boats on the Mekong, but ones ferrying us to crappy factories making crap - coconut candy factory, rice factory, fruit orchard, rice krispie factory!?! It wasn't their fault obviously, but it wan't really what we'd gone to see.

We spent ages at each of these extremely uninteresting places where they tried to sell us the stuff they were making before getting back on the bus/boat for another 2/3 hours. Complete waste of time and money. What made matters worse was that we had to get up at 6.30am both mornings to go see these places. So we were both really tired and crabbit. The Mekong itself was pretty cool though, having slagged off the rest of it. We took a boat that weaved in and out of the women all selling their goods to other passing vessels.

It was massive. We also went to see another market where they were selling snakes and other interesting animals.

The Vietnamese seem to eat anything. We've seen snake on the menu already, and snake wine so hopefully will get to try that at some point. Then as we get further North supposedly dog may start appearing on the menu. Think Jenny may draw the line with that, I'm not decided yet........